k.unwrapped

One day last week as I was walking into the subway station on my way to work, I heard someone beeping their horn but didn’t pay attention to it. I figure that if I’m not in my car, walking in or near the street, or it isn’t someone I know, nobody should be beeping at me. Period. It turns out that the horn beeper was my friend’s Ki’s brother-in-law who had to yell "heeeey K!" to get my attention. I laughed, waved, and got my arse to work as I was running late anyway.

Fast forward to yesterday and Ki invited me to the bbq of this same brother-in-law & her sister. He said, "you acted like you ain’t know me the other day, K! I bet that if a guy wants to talk to you he’d better get OUT the car b/c you won’t even look his way if he beeps at you (laughs)." I told him heck no I don’t respond to the honking of the horn b/c you honk at a prostitute (or women dressed like prostitutes — neither of which applies to me) and any guy doing that mess isn’t going to be my type. Trust me. The guy that Ki is currently dating chimed in and said I could be missing out on a good thing. The way I see it is this. If you get up in the morning to take the 7:30 bus, get to the bus stop at 7:25 and board your bus when it comes and you’re on your merry way. You’re not going to get on the 7:30 bus and think about what happened to the 7:00 and 7:15 buses because they were not for you. What’s for me is for me and a guy who beeps his horn at random women when he’s driving ain’t for me. There’s nothing to lament.

A lot of guys use their car horns as mack tools but it’s stupid. Even if he parks and gets out of the car, I still don’t like it. If I’m walking down the street, you have no way of knowing whether or not I’d even be receptive of your advances. That’s something you can only get through face-to-face interaction. Plus, what kind of idiot does one have to be to think that driving beside a walking woman, or even getting out of your car and randomly approaching her is a good idea? What would make a guy assume that this woman is not threatened by a STRANGER doing that dumb shit? If you see an attractive woman walking down the street, if you can’t be smoother than honking your horn then just make a mental note that she is attractive and KEEP IT MOVING.

As I rode the train home from work today amidst the funk, I had to remind (convince?) myself why I prefer the subway over driving everyday. I only spend $20/week on Gas. My employer pays for my bus pass. Shorter commute time. I can sit and relax on the way to work vs. being stressed by the traffic, $24/day parking, and the fact that Philly drivers don’t believe in using their turn signals for ANY reason, all by 8:30am. After going over that in my head some white guy starts singing: "I told her I loooovvvveeeed her but she left meeee for another womaaaaaaan" for about 10 minutes straight. Another passenger advises him to keep his day job so the guy gets offended and storms off the train at the next stop.

Now that it’s warm everybody (read: rugrats) is out in the streets so you have to drive more carefully ’round these parts. I don’t understand why some pedestrians are so confident in my driving. I wouldn’t put my life in another person’s hands for the sake of not missing a bus or just to ride a shitty bike in the middle of the street. If I run you over your mama nem will run outside and be mad at ME…I should’ve anticipated that little Ron-Ron would be riding in the middle of the street once I rounded that curve.

I’m about to go have me a drank…lol.

It’s a lovely Saturday afternoon and I’m walking along South Street. I look up and see a familiar face; he’s holding the hand of a little girl, and a woman is holding her other hand. They look like such a happy family…then I realize it’s the jackass from this post. He smirks at me…I glance briefly and keep it moving. I can’t even remember his name and if I used a name for him in a previous entry, it wasn’t the real one.

My little sister had a falling out with one of her little friends. I met the girl a few times so when she sent me a friend request on Myspace I accepted it. Why did she delete me from her list when she and my sis stopped speaking? And why did she add me back when they made up? Ah, to be 15 again…SMH.

*Clicks "cancel Myspace account" button*

1. Never admit that you’re wrong, even when presented with facts and/or evidence to the contrary.

2. If your opponent exposes a hole in your argument, or if they express an idea truly worth considering, completely ignore it, or dismiss it as being off-topic.

     2a. If that doesn’t work, vehemently dispute a random idea that your opponent presented 6 months ago or hasn’t presented at all (straw man argument).

3. Kill ‘em with semantics. When in doubt, just reword your argument to make yourself right. You can never be wrong if you keep your opponent confused. It keeps them on their toes.

4. Always maintain a condescending tone. No matter how illogical, thoughtless, or just plain stupid your idea is, by maintaining an air of condescension, you make yourself feel more intelligent than you actually are.

5. If your opponent is a woman, always remind her that her thought process and/or method of communication is inherently inferior to yours. Always throw in “you’re illogical and emotional” for good measure. Forget that men’s proported ability to ’keep emotions in check’ is likely the reason that most, if not all, serial killers are male.

According to Young Jeezy.

Sometimes I truly feel like an outsider looking in when it comes to pop-culture. When will some shit just go out of style? Why the f&$! do people even like Young Jeezy? How many ways can you rap about being a hustler/thug/killa before people start to say "gtfoh, you’re from Wisconsin!" When I step away from BET and the like for a while, I mistakenly start to believe that common sense is the new pink. So when I hear someone say "the only opportunities for Black men out here is ball, clothing, or rapping" (I swear some dude just said that on this BET J commercial) it makes my head spin.

In 2007 I’d like to see the following go out of style:

- Young Jeezy

- Comparisons b/t the civil rights movement and gay rights (sorry but it’s just not the same!)

- Carmen Bryan, Karrin Stephens, Melissa Ford, Buffy the Body (I don’t ever want to see or hear about those hoes ever again)

- People not knowing how to navigate the internet. (I actually met someone who didn’t know what Google was)

- Women seeking advice on how to get upgraded to ‘wifey’ from 3-year f&ck-buddy status (sorry but upgrades are rare; once you’ve easily given up the goods it’s too late to negotiate your status in the relationship)

- Cliché advice. Play hard to get…don’t return his calls. What a crock of BS.

In other news, submitting my resignation letter was harder than I it would be.  I can’t give a rational reason for that, but all I know is that I was nervous til I bit the bullet and got it over with. Only one week left here, then some much needed time off before I start the new gig.

I spent all of Friday evening getting my hair braided but other than that my weekend was great. I took my little sis to the African-American Museum (which we’d never heard of until last year when they’ve apparently been here for 30 years smh) and to dinner on Saturday. At any rate, we had fun…I’m happy my sis didn’t think it was corny…you know how teenagers can be. For any of you who’ve been reading since I was at Blogspot, you may remember me mentioning that my mom was on the verge of being sent to Iraq but was able to get out of it a couple of years ago. Well we’re here again but this time it doesn’t seem as though she’ll be able to wiggle her way out of this one. At first I was kind of angry, firstly because she waited until its damn near time for her to deploy before telling me, secondly because she had the opportunity to get out of the reserves during Bush’s regime but chose to stay in. Being as though she’s just a part-timer in the army, there’s really no real benefit for her to stay in and risk being sent to Bombanigga…er I mean Baghdad. Regardless, we have to face it…she doesn’t seem particularly concerned but damn that, my ass is worried. My sister and brother will be staying with their father full-time. However, since I’ve personally witnessed the fact that his wife is a grade A BITCH, I’m sure that my sister will spend lots of time at my place which will take a little getting used to. That child can EAT.

*Sigh* We’ll get through it.

I’ve decided against waiting until Jan 1 to make some changes. Yeah yeah December is almost over but I’ve been on this kick for a couple of weeks now.

- Be more outspoken/assertive/proactive
The same coworker advised me to change my name on my resume (btw I decided to go with a "T. Sandra Taylor" type of name…I’ll keep yall posted!), let’s call her Debbie, told me that I’m known as being "too quiet." No shock there, been hearing that since I was five. I’m not sure how one goes about changing such a personality trait but it’s time to give it a sincere try. It was one of those "who’s labeled" conversations. Everybody has some label attached to them but I say that nobody’s perfect. We all fall short somehow. People expect way too much of other people at times.

- Stop skipping the strength training part of my workout…I miss having muscles
- Volunteer more often (just signed up for a mentor program in Southwest Philly Philly…where I am from)
- Enroll in the company’s 401(k) program…I was going to wait until I either made more money or turned 25 (whichever came first) but I signed up yesterday to contribute a small amount…my budget was already tight but I’m sure I’ll find a way to make it work woo hoo

Last night some of the coworkers went to a bar to celebrate a soon-to-be ex-coworker (Meek) getting a new (and much better!) job. Someone invited two of his minister friends which was VERY interesting. One who I’ll call Aaron, is Honduran, and the other (Mark) is White. Why did they spend the entire evening buying everybody drinks and otherwise being the life of the party? They were really trying to bar hop and hang out! WE had to tell THEM that we were tired and ready to go. I feel at ease because Aaron assured me that I’ll be going to heaven because he and God are tight like that, and since he PERSONALLY sent up a prayer, I’m good. It’s great to be well-connected.

Around 11:30p there are about five of us left: the ministers, Meek, and two Black guys (O and J) that we work with (J happens to be Meeks ex/baby daddy…she got him hired last year AFTER they broke up). We were about to go our separate ways and the ministers were concerned with how Meek and I were getting home. Meek and I both park at train stations and take the subway to work. It didn’t make sense to go get our cars then come back downtown to drive around for 20mins looking for parking. O happened to drive to work that day so his car was nearby. J doesn’t have a car and was planning to ride with O, and they knew the situation with our cars. Meek and I planned to take a cab to our cars but it would’ve been nice if O would’ve offered us a ride b/c he KNEW that where we parked was close to where he lives. And J had already secured his ride so he didn’t give a damn. The ministers offered us a ride…those guys were cool, really…but who’s to say that they were really ministers? I don’t know them dudes lol.

As we’re standing outside, O jumps in his car and drives away without even saying good-bye. That was just the craziest thing to me. When I hang out with friends/associates, we always discuss how everybody is getting home, ESPECIALLY when there’s alcohol involved. As I’m calling for our cab, J calls O back and asks him to drive us to our destinations…all of which are within a 3 mile radius of O’s apt and he knows this! J can literally walk home from O’s place. So O comes right back and picks us up but acts like he was asked to give up a limb. I would expect that from coworkers who are barely acquainted…but damn, I thought we were COOL.

I started writing an entry about coworkers but remembered that people have gotten fired for that.

So what I want to know is how people get ahead by coasting on the backs of others? How does a person like this slip through the cracks? There’s a difference between delegating and being all out lazy. If you want me to do YOUR job, give me a portion of YOUR salary! It doesn’t take people long to catch on to a person like that. After a while they start avoiding this type of person at all costs. So the ‘delegator’ moves on to the next unsuspecting new hire, and the cycle restarts.

We’re giving YOU the opportunity to make US more money!

One of my credit card companies sent me an email with the subject "K, we have a special gift JUST for you during the holidays." I was thinking, free shit–yes!! I opened the email while smiling inside only to find that their "gift" to me is a 3% rebate offer for shopping at some random website? It could’ve at least been a website that sells things that people actually buy. I certainly don’t need another egg beater or Swiss army knife.

Dating sucks…and so does being single

Why did I get stood up on Sunday? I didn’t even know people still did that! He actually pulled a no-call-no-show (I called him about 2 hrs before we were supposed to go to dinner and he didn’t pick up) then sent me a text message the next day that said, "hey miss" like nothing happened. I asked why he disappeared on Sunday and he said that he left his phone at work. I didn’t respond and had no intentions of ever speaking to him again. I barely knew this this guy a week and only talked to him a few times so in my mind it’s perfectly acceptable for me to walk away without an explanation (in this case his ass knew why I was stepping off) and vice versa. But he has a foreign accent…men with accents don’t go away just because you ignore them. He rang my phone back-to-back AND left a voicemail. So I called him back, told him that I’m not into games, to lose my number, and hung up.

It only takes 5 minutes to call and say "hey I’m not gonna be able to make it." Unless you’re laid up with your "main chick" all day long hmmmm! The most annoying part of it was his lame excuse and his attempt to sweet talk me with some "baby lemme make it up to you" mess. ‘Scuse me, when did I become your "baby?" SMH. I have the worst luck with foreigners I swear…except Haitian guys, I love them hehe.

I checked my work email and found a reminder for the Holiday party that we’re having in a couple of weeks. I almost wanted to RSVP "no" because…I don’t have a date. What’s worse, being bothered by the fact that you don’t have a date or that your datelessness even bothers you to begin with? I’m giving myself 30 minutes to get over it!

Club Wawa

I dunno if they have Wawa in every state but it’s sort of like 7-11 but better. For some reason the one near my house is always packed with eye candy. Some guy approached me earlier and we exchanged numbers…then he asked me if I had a Myspace page and if I could text my info to him. I thought that was just a tad bit odd LOL. I met another guy there last week…he was built like he played basketball in college or something. I was kind of giddy over that one but when I mentioned his name & stats to a friend she told me that she used to date him. Aaaarrrrrggggghhhhhh I CAN’T win!

I have been completely on my own for almost a year now. When I was in college I always worked and supported myself, however, I always knew that if things got REALLY bad, I could call my stepdad and he’d help me out. Now that he and my mother are officially separated, and he now has his own apartment & extra bills, that’s not an option. Back in school my expenses were extremely low so getting an extra $100 from my stepdad was like a million bucks lol. My expenses now include rent, car note, insurance, etc, so that just wouldn’t work for me now. Not to mention that I’m grown! Over the past year, my attitude towards money has changed drastically. I was never a spendthrift; however, I now truly know the difference between needs and wants.

Needs = things for survival, followed by things for comfort

Wants = things that I don’t even think about until I see an ad for them 

On a message board that I frequent, there’s a debate going on about the Play station 3 (retail $500). As I watched the news last week, I was amazed by the people caught on camera falling all over each other to get into the store to drop $500 on the game system. You would have thought they were lined up to get some free shit, not to PAY somebody 500 bucks. If you go to Ebay.com, you’ll find PLENTY of PS3’s going for $1000+. If it’s true that 70% of Americans live paycheck-to-paycheck, and that the average family carries $8k in credit card debt, doesn’t it follow that MANY of these people can’t afford the PS3? My beef is about more than just a $500 game system that’ll be obsolete in a year or two; it’s about how easily we are brainwashed into believing that overpriced shit is "worth it." It’s relatively easy to convince people that they "need" things that they wouldn’t have even THOUGHT about if they hadn’t seen an ad for it. People SWEAR that they can "afford" $2k designer bags, $500 games, and $30k cars on $40k salaries and it’s sad. These are the same people crying "broke" and whining that they "don’t make enough money."

So, on the message board there were people saying that the game is worth the price because it has some new DVD technology. This means that we have yet another home movie format coming out. So, we have to buy the new high-tech DVD player…then we have to buy the new formatted DVDs so that we can actually use the player which = more money spent just to watch movies! My old DVD player works just fine and I will not replace it until they stop making regular DVDs (notice how VCR tapes are nowhere to be found!).

It seems that many people generally don’t have a REAL grasp on affordability. I caught a little bit of that Vh1 show, “the Fabulous Life of the Rich and Famous” and the focus was on celebrity dream homes. They profiled these houses with the price, and then they broke it down by monthly mortgage. Mortgage! Why in the world would someone raking in 20+ million per year have a mortgage? Perhaps they are buying houses that they can’t afford? Maybe they’re using the mortgage to keep a high credit score? When I read that Whitney Houston was in danger of losing her home, and that she was millions behind on the mortgage I nearly choked. She was raking in some serious millions not too long ago…why isn’t her house paid off?

I went to Walgreen’s yesterday to get some razors. They had the fancy pink ones for $12.99 (only 3 in the pack smh) and the Walgreen’s brand for $1.99 (10 in pack). Do the cutesy ones actually provide a better shave? All I want is hair-free armpits and the Walgreen’s brand never lets me down. Are the pretty colors & shapes of the razors used to lure us into buying something more expensive that essentially performs the same function? Anyone who uses the fancy ones let me know!

I’ve made up my mind that I’m going to accumulate REAL wealth in this life; however, that will never happen if I:

- convince myself that I "need" a new car every 3-5 years
- spend excess money on trends
- charge more than I can afford to pay off in 30 days on my credit cards
- put off saving for retirement, emergencies, and home ownership, etc.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

When did bloggers start taking themselves so seriously? Where is the rule written that says: if a blog entry is complete bullshit, readers must co-sign regardless? Someone please clue me in.

Somebody could write a blog post about molesting kids in the rain and most of the comments in response would read:

“Oooooh girl co-sign! I feel you on that!”

“That was such a great post! Tell it like it is!”

“That’s why you’re my favorite blogger…you bring the heat!”

GTFOH!

Jackass A decides to throw a bitch-fit because I asked a question that addressed something she wrote in a blog entry. My comment was far from rude or off-topic. Instead of answering it, she decides to put on her Cyber-Courage Backpack and write some bullshit angry response. That post clearly shows that she is one of those black women who confuses bitchiness with strength or being confrontational with courage.

I asked the question because she previously wrote a post about how she doesn’t have many female friends because [insert stereotypical shit that many women that have few female friends say]. I’ve found that women who feel that way tend to be bitches and they exhibit ALL of the negative qualities that they claim other women have therefore, other women don’t want to be bothered with them. It would’ve been rude to say that in someone’s blog wouldn’t it? So I wrote something to the effect of “I hate to hear women say that about other women.” This chick deletes the whole entry and replaces it with some bullshit “if you don’t agree with me don’t come to my blog” entry. Get over yourself please.

I asked the question b/c I wanted to know why she overreacts to comments that aren’t inflammatory OR off-topic. She can write all the nasty posts under the sun about me (in an effort to “scare” me away from her comment section), but if she posts some bullshit tomorrow, I’ll STILL comment on it. I’m sure she’ll delete it but I DGAF.

Jackass B can write but he obviously can’t read. Someone PLEASE tell me what this comment:

“Two words. Stay single. Its like Katt Williams said. “Its not that all men ain’t sh*t. Its that all the men you attract ain’t sh*t. Maybe you need to step back, be single, and reassess your sh*t. Figure out what it is about you that keeps attracting ain’t sh*t niggas.”

has to do with a dream about a car and Naomi Campbell? While I’m sure that Kat Williams is a funny man and that some women do indeed attract bullshit b/c they ARE bullshit, it completely missed me (and everyone else) how that relates to a post that had absolutely nothing to do with dating.

Interestingly enough, the other day he got mad b/c I commented on one of his bullshit blog entries. I was sure that the entry was a joke (hence the "lol" in my comment) so I was shocked to see him respond angrily to one of my (and another woman’s) comments. Dude was REALLY serious and must’ve thought that he put forth some groundbreaking shit. I’m happy that you mofos are so self-important that you think all of your blog posts are classic and thought-provoking. Too bad you’re the only one.

If I make a rude and/or off-topic comment, it wouldn’t bother me one bit if someone called me on it. By all means do what you gotta do. But if people want to get downright ANGRY solely b/c I didn’t ride their nutsacks in the comments section…they can kiss my entire ass.