k.unwrapped

But it’s time to say goodbye. Since I ditched Blogger a few years ago, they’ve upgraded to a more user-friendly interface (they even auto-save your posts as you’re typing!). Blogger and I are getting back together…yeah I’m sometimey like that, ha! My new spot: http://k-unwrapped.blogspot.com

I should be at the laundromat right now but why do that when I can update my blog?

I find marriage induced amnesia to be quite entertaining. I get women telling me, "oh I’ve been marred for 5/10/15 years and the dating game wasn’t like that back in my day." Fifteen years ago was 1992…has the game changed THAT much since the 90’s??? I seriously doubt it. Sometimes married women can be so annoying. They got their man now and just don’t remember any bad experiences or how things can be in the game. Let some of them tell it, ALL the guys they ever dated were just so great (yet she forgets that they broke up for SOME reason) and dating was just a summer breeze for them. In the words of Jay-Z, "you need more people!"

What is it about clubs that makes people lose track of all their good common sense? There’s this club out in the suburbs that’s REAL interesting. It’s dirt cheap…$5 to get in, $2 drinks all night on Fridays. It’s an equal mix of Whites/Blacks with some Latinos mixed in here and there. It’s actually a nice venue (it has an outdoor bar/dance floor that overlooks a river). But for some reason, any bar/club I go to that isn’t IN a city like Philly, DC, NY, ATL, etc, seems real backwoods to me. It doesn’t matter that this place is 10 mins from Philly; it may as well be in the middle of nowhere as far as I’m concerned.

As soon as we walk in the door some guy attempts to grab my hand and motions for me to come over to where he is. He’s sort of tucked in a corner w/ his friends and I’m like why the hell would I come over to you dummy? He walks over so I decide to entertain him for a minute or two. He tells me his name is "Dolla" and he’s 23 y/o from Delaware. He’s such a walking example of how wack guys from Delaware and South Jersey tend to be. I asked if he had a real name and he replies "it ain’t worth shit." I said "nice to meet you DOLLA" and walked away laughing my ass off and telling my friend about it. We get over to the bar and all of a sudden this white chick starts having a FIT. She throws a perfectly good drink on the floor and starts yelling "I will fuck ANYBODY the fuck up in this place! You wanna fuck with me?! You wanna fuck with me?!" That poor girl was angry at the air or something b/c there wasn’t a soul anywhere near her when she started tripping. Then she stomps off and I ask the girl she appeared to have come with if her girl was okay. She wouldn’t claim her though, talking about, "well I know her but I don’t really KNOW her like that…" LOL you know that’s your friend! I saw a guy get carried out of the club kicking & screaming for the first time. Now, I’ve been in some ’suspect’ establishments from North Philly to Baltimore to Homewood (Pittsburgh) but for some reason don’t recall ever seeing that happen.

My friend’s coworker showed up with her crew of "we like Black guys" White chicks. They’re nice girls but one of them rubs me the WRONG way. Hell, I don’t even think her friends like her. Anytime we’ve been in the same establishment, this chick always gets LOST. All night her friends are like "where’s Angela?!" and last night was not different. When the club let out we saw her in the corner somewhere hugged up with some Snoop Dog imposter. I wish one of my friends WOULD go somewhere with me and just be m.i.a. all night. Her ass would get left and she’d never get invited again.

I initially thought that Rihanna’s "Umbrella-ella-ella-ella" was just another annoying ass song. Well it kinda still is but gives me a quick and easy out to get a guy that I don’t want to talk to out of my face. I just say "I’m sorry but you don’t fit under my umbrella" and walk away. They all seem to scratch their head in confusion for some reason though. *shrug*

So I’ve been dating this guy for a bit that I met through a mutual friend. It wasn’t a blind date or anything; we met at said mutual friend’s bbq. At any rate, he’s not just a good guy but he’s a good person in general. I’m not saying that I want to have his babies or walk down the aisle with him, but I think that I should at least get my arse to the laundromat right now so I’ll have something that I want to wear tonight.

I put myself on spending restriction which means no shopping, no nothing until my savings is where it should be (Sistah Ant is my shero). More on that later.

I’ve been tagged by S23:

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.

2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.

4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Without further ado…

1. It’s hard for me to consciously talk about myself. When I’m not trying to do that is when people learn the most about me. I stared at the computer for a while trying to come up with these 8 things lol.
   
2. I’ve been wearing glasses since 1st grade. I wasn’t one of those kids that my mom had to fight with to make me wear the glasses (although they were bigger than my face) because I really could not see. The teacher would put me in the front seat closest to the chalkboard and I still couldn’t read a word of it without glasses. When I wake up in the morning I put my glasses on so that I can find my contacts and put them in…before I even shower. Driving, watching TV, and getting on my laptop without my eyewear ain’t gonna happen.
   
3. My mom is currently in Iraq for the next year b/c she’s in the army. I’m confident that she’ll be fine and everything will be okay but dang I miss her .
   
4. I officially gave up eating beef & pork about 3 years ago in an effort to slowly transition to vegetarianism. Never quite made the full transition…lol. I tried eating beef again at one point but after not having it for so long I didn’t like the taste and consistency, and it upset my stomach. I didn’t really grow up eating pork so I’ve not missed it much.
   
5. I’ve never been in an official relationship other than high school which doesn’t count (to me, anyway). I have a feeling that when I’m really ready for the commitment that is marriage, that’s when I’ll find myself in an official relationship that will probably lead to marriage. People sometimes try to make me feel weird about that, but those people are usually in relationships that have zero long-term potential whatsoever. I just don’t see any reason to be ‘official’ with someone w/ no potential just b/c I enjoy their company even though I do want a relationship. I will elaborate in another blog entry this weekend.
   
6. I totaled a car on the PA turnpike 3 years ago (lost control of the car). Because of the accident I’m a HUGE proponent of seatbelts b/c if I hadn’t worn mine I wouldn’t be sitting here typing this right now. The impact of the crash would’ve thrown me through the windshield at 75 mph. Just to paint a picture, after the crash the car landed on its roof and I had to climb out of the busted passenger window to get out. The tow guy had to slice up the back seat to get my stuff out of the trunk b/c it was so smashed in it couldn’t be opened. I walked away from this with a few cuts on my foot (had on flip flops), and some temporary muscle aches from the airbag impact.
   
7. I get a little anxious on the highway because of #6 and I don’t like driving if I don’t have to.
   
8. I’m quietly planning to relocate down south within the next year or so. I will talk more about it when I get some plans more solidified.

I’m not tagging anybody lol.

This post is piggybacking off of S23’s post here. I pretty much reposted my comment from her site and added a couple of things in.

People are always saying that if you consistently attract ‘certain’ types then you have to look at why you’re attracting them. I can understand that to an extent, but at the same time, when a man approaches you cold, he doesn’t know anything about you other than how you look. So unless you dress and/or carry yourself like a hoodrat or whore, how in the hell can it reflect negatively on you if random crazies find you attractive and decide to approach?

What I look at when a man approaches is how he talks to me (none of that "hey baby" crap), how he looks (if he has braids or sagging pants he can forget it), and in applicable cases the content of his convo (if he tells me his name is Jermaine but I should call him "J-Dubb" then there’s no way we could be compatible).

What’s up with all these false advertisers out here? They approach you looking good, very respectful and interesting. Then you get them on the phone and they say the craziest shit ever.

Exhibit A:

Me: So do you live alone?

Him: No.

Me: … (waiting for him to elaborate lol)

Me: So who do you live with?

Him: A girl.

Me: A girl??? You have a damn girlfriend?

Him: Something like that.

Me: Well it was nice meeting you then.

Him: *chuckles* But…

Me: *click*

If you’re gonna say crazy shit, I need for you to have a wonky eye, dress like a bum, and maybe a missing tooth or three. It would make things SO much easier. Seriously.

When and if it’s in your will for me to celebrate my 45th birthday, please don’t let me be like that pissy drunk woman in the middle of the bar singing "it’s my mafuckin berfday" while vigorously dancing to Back That Ass Up.

Thanks in advance.

–K.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before but I’m the oldest of three [excluding the 5 “half” siblings my biological father has that I’ve never met]. My sister is 16 and my brother is 13. I can remember when they were two and five and my sister would beat the crap out of him. They’d be sitting at their Little Tyke table eating Cheerios and I’d be watching TV or whatever and all of a sudden my brother would start WAILING. I’d run over to them and find his chair flipped on the floor and him laid out crying with his cereal spilled EVERYWHERE. I’d look at my sister and she’d be sitting there looking angry. This used to happen a LOT. I had to baby-sit them all the time and was permitted to spank some azz when they acted up…I STAYED popping her after that scene would repeat itself time and time again. I used to tell her to stop hitting her brother because one day he was going to be bigger than her and the tables would surely turn. I would baby my brother because I’d feel bad that my sister knocked him clear across the room. That girl was something else back then, lol
(she still is actually, ha!).

One day I was watching them eat chicken nuggets but they didn’t see me. My bro poked a hole in one of her nuggets with his sticky azz finger and she said stop. He laughed and did it again…she said stop a little more authoritatively. He thought it was funny and did it AGAIN but this time he stuck his tongue out at her to add insult to injury (btw, he’s STILL an annoying azz little taller-than-me snot). This time she smacked the smile off of his face and he starts boo-hooing. I told him he got just what he deserved and to keep his nasty fingers in his own plate…then I popped both of their azzes because they were still not supposed to hit each other. If he does something you tell an adult, don’t just start swinging at him, geez.

I think about that situation every time I catch the tail end of a ‘flip-out.’ Rarely do people just randomly flip out on someone without being provoked. Rarely do people lead lives full of drama without somehow provoking it. They may cry and wine about how drama always seems to find them, that they are just misunderstood or what have you, but when it’s a pattern folks need to realize that their actions, intentional or not, lands them directly in the middle of messes that they claim to want no parts of.

On my birthday I went to a club with two of my good friends. It was wack as hell but I still had fun despite having to leave a little early to get SOME type of rest before going to work in the morning. I got home around 1am and had to drive around the block 3 times to find a parking spot…AS USUAL. I couldn’t find anything (even all the illegal ‘fire zone’ spots were taken) so I parked in this empty lot right beside my building. I’ve seen other residents of my building park there every night and this night was no different. I knew I wasn’t supposed to park there but I was not willing to park 3 blocks from my apartment at 1am. I got up at 7am to move my car and that mofo was GONE and so were the other cars. I already knew the deal so I called the tow number and they told me it would be $240 CASH if I picked up my car that day, plus an extra $40 for each day that I didn’t pick it up. I wanted to get mad but the sign clearly stated all of the above but I parked there anyway. Guess I was a little too confident that I wouldn’t get towed.

It was the middle of the month and my employer only pays once a month. So it’s not like I could put up the money and be like "oh well I get paid next week." There were still 2.5 weeks left before my next payday and I was really just getting used to budgeting my money for the whole month. I REALLY didn’t want to dig into my emergency fund because it was JUST starting to get some weight on it but I had to do what I had to do. I just thank God that I was of the mind to start putting money aside in the first place. But honestly, I was getting to the point where I was kind of ’blah’ about it. I started relaxing on those deposits and spending more money on dumb stuff. Lesson learned!

I was talking to a friend a couple of months ago about debt vs. saving. His stance was that if he had $1000 in savings while carrying a $1000 credit card debt, he’d just clean out his savings and pay off the debt. No-brainer. I asked what he would do if an emergency popped up and he had no funds? His response was that he’d just use credit cards. My thought was that he’d then be out of his emergency fund AND have newly accumulated debt (w/ interest) that he’d just paid off. Not only that but sometimes you just need cold, hard cash. I wouldn’t be caught dead taking out a cash advance on a credit card…they start charging interest THE MINUTE you make a withdrawal…fugg a grace period. So yeah, save your money people!

As I was paying for my coffee at Dun.kin’ Dough.nuts this morning, the cashier, Hamri, stares at my credit card (left my debit card in an ATM and waiting on a new one) then says my name. Then he says "I see you tomorrow, K?" to which I replied, "you mean Monday? And that’s if I’m in the mood for coffee haha" He then says, *sly grin* "well, I can see you tomorrow still, no?" So I say, "only if you plan on dreaming about me, Hamri." So random and totally unexpected! LOL.

Two weeks from now I’m getting braces put on. Yesterday the orthodontist put some kind of spacers between my molars to make room for metal thingy that’s gonna go around my teeth and will serve as a sort of anchor for shifting all of my teeth. These shits are SO uncomfortable and I didn’t eat much yesterday b/c of it. It feels a lot better today but I’m thinking what the heck did I get myself into? Short term discomfort is worth the long term benefit. Gotta keep reminding myself.

I don’t really know what to say about my diet. I’m not eating 5-6x a day like I was, but I’m still overall making good choices. I say overall because this morning I had an egg/cheese crouisant which is far from healthy. I didn’t go grocery shopping so I’m out of fruit, applesauce, etc., and I can’t eat my energy bars b/c they’re too chewy and might make my spacers pop out. I’ll probably just have Minestrone soup for lunch and I plan on making some tofu, brown rice, veggies, with Hoisin sauce for dinner so I don’t feel too guilty about that crouisant. AND I’ve already been to the gym 3x this week and tomorrow will be the 4th. Instead of running for 25 mins I’m doing intervals. For the first 3 minutes I’ll walk at 4.0 mph w/ a 5% incline. The next 3 mins I’ll jog at 5.5 mph (no incline on the jog), followed by 3 mins at 6.0, then 3 mins at 6.5. 6.5 is a sprint for me and is very difficult at this point so I don’t push it any further than that. From that point I drop it back to 5.5 and work my way up again. Around the 20 min mark I’m exhausted and have to walk at 4.0 (with 5 % incline) again, then work my way back up. The 30 min mark = cool down then I’m done with cardio for the day. I slacked on the strength training last week so this week I’m slightly struggling with that again. It’s very hard to stick to that portion of my workout like I should! I’m trying though *sigh.*

Sometimes when I come to a conclusion about something/someone, I’ll stop, think about it, and observe a little bit more. What usually happens is that my initial thought was correct to begin with. I mentioned before that Don* is ‘good on paper,’ as Hostess would say. I really don’t meet tons of ‘good on paper’ guys so I didn’t want to just blow him off over a small thing…so I just observed a bit more. When we first went out I met him at the spot, which is fine because everybody doesn’t need to know where I live right away. By the 3rd outing or so, I expected him to offer to pick me up for our date. He was visiting his mom beforehand, who lives like 5-10 mins from me, plus we were headed to a couple of different places and driving around in two cars didn’t make sense to me. He didn’t offer so I met him at the art show…after that we planned to hit the movies. I asked if I could just leave my car at the art show venue and he could just drop me off at my car after the movie. He said, "I think we should take two cars." That didn’t sit well with me. I’ve never went to the movies in separate cars…who does that? So we went to the movies and when I got home I thought that I should cut him off because either he isn’t interested in me like that and/or the way he deals with women just doesn’t work for me and I should just move on either way. I have no desire for a buddy and I already have enough friends. I’m certain that I want to be in a relationship so there’s no point in giving too much of my attention to someone who isn’t on the same page.

So I asked him if he was just looking for a buddy, or a friend to hang out with and he said no. I told him that his actions say otherwise and laid out EVERYTHING that I just wrote about above. He said that he understood where I was coming from and that he is interested in me and blah blah blah. Fast forward a week or so and I have to meet him at some other spot and I end up paying for the date because he ‘forgot his wallet.’ He magically found his wallet not 5 minutes after getting into his car. The same wallet he didn’t seem THAT concerned about when he said he didn’t have it, which I called him on but he swore that he’s not that kind of guy. As if he’d say "yeah, K I lied about not having my wallet b/c I’m broke and/or just didn’t want to pay." I was gonna just up and disappear but after talking to him for 3 months or so, I figure that I’ll be nice and tell him why I’m disappearing before I pull a Whodini. 

The VA trip turned out to be more fun than I thought. Training was 8:30a-5p so I had the evenings to play with.  I took the Metro from DC and didn’t even get lost. I went to my first *ahem* male review out in MD with my friend who lives in Alexandria (whose coworker was celebrating her 25th b-day) which was a hot ghetto mess LOL. First of all the place was so packed that they had to close off the parking lot. Half them dudes either looked gay or thought that it would be a good idea to imitate that group Pretty Ricky which basically = gay. Something about a man in a g-string is too feminine…I guess because women wear them too. Plus sized ladies showed those dudes so much love and gave up so much $$$…I don’t get it. Of course there’s always that one old ass man, who may look good for his age, but is obviously too damn old to be shaking his money-maker. Then you had the lazy dudes who thought that just by standing in front of me for 5 minutes it would earn him a tip…whatever dude. You better move something man! 

There were two guys that I was impressed with…they were ‘entertainers’ forreal…like they REALLY enjoyed flipping and hanging from the ceiling by the ankle as much as the women enjoyed watching it. But it was a long ass night just to see two worthwhile performers, sheesh.

Last week threw a monkey wrench in my routine. I stayed in a hotel for training that had a gym but did I mosy on down there even once? Nope! F&cked my diet all up and everything. I got back into my routine this week but after 7 days of not hitting the gym it was kind of hard when I finally got back in there. And I refuse to stand on the scale for another week or two lol.

I did meet up with the 40 y/o for dinner but I seriously doubt that I’ll ever speak to him again. I hate when guys try to get all ‘familiar’ way too soon, it’s a BIG turnoff, especially when I say "chill out" and you want to act like you ain’t hear me or you think you’re just that charming. Whatever. I kinda like Don* but I don’t think he’s that into me so I’ve been keeping our interactions to a minimum. We go out sometimes but no more of that boo-loving on the phone for hours sh!t. I went on a couple of other random dates but they sucked but what else is new?

Well, after the Older Jamaican guy only reduced his calls from 4 a day to 2, I finally broke down, answered the phone, and told him not to call anymore. I should’ve done that from jump.

The new job is going well for the most part but it’s a bit more challenging than I expected it to be. I have to go down to the main campus in VA for corporate brain washing training all next week which should be interesting. I already have a hot date scheduled in the evening hehe. Well, I met this guy when I was in Atlanta at some random lounge. He lives in Alexandria, VA which is just a hop from where I’ll be staying next week. Anyway, when we met I figured him to be b/t 28-34. My friends and I hung out with him and his friends on two different occasions while I was in the ATL. I didn’t really expect to hear from him again after that trip was over but alas he calls me every week. So one day we’re talking and he mentions a football game his son played. I finally ask how old the son is and find that he’s 13. "13??? Damn dude how old ARE you?" Why is he 39 going on 40 this year, and divorced? LOL I was so shocked and when I told my friends who’ve seen him, they were shocked too. It only took me like 2 minutes to get over that though — he’s fun…and hot

When I meet someone out of town I certainly don’t have any expectations…if I enjoy his conversation I’ll keep talking to him but I’m not usually concerned with the particulars. Hence me talking to a guy who was born in the same decade as my mother…she’s 46.

Then there’s Don* who is a more reasonable 31 whom I met back in January. He has all the ‘good on paper’ characteristics…master’s degree, owns his home, no rugrats, intelligent, and F.I.N.E…but I dunno if there’s any ’spark.’ I dunno we’re just taking it day by day. We’re going to some lounge tonite and I finally get to see if this dude can dance like he claims.

I’m feeding my face 5-6 times a day and it’s great. I’ve decided that I need to eat better and I’m back in the gym consistently (consistent = at least 3x a week). I’ve just been trying to make sure that I eat a balanced diet and not overload on any one food group. Oatmeal for breakfast, a piece of fruit about two hours later, homeade turkey burger on wheat (an appropriate portion size though — that is crucial) around noon…apple sauce or baby carrots about two hours after that…then another piece of fruit. I hit the gym right after work then have an Oatmeal-to-go bar or something, then eat Tilapia w/ veggies & brown rice or spaghetti (watching those portions though!) or whatever I may be in the mood for for dinner. I throw in a cup (8oz = proper portion size!) of Chocate Silk Soy milk when I have a taste for something sweet plus it’s good for you. That stuff is sooo good…it tastes just like hot chocolate when you throw it in the microwave for a bit. I cut out beef & pork about three years ago officially but I still eat pork once or twice a year (at a cookout usually lol).

I was actually keeping a food diary for about two weeks and found that I was eating b/t 1300-1800 calories a day. 1300-1500 is ideal for weightloss but shit I ain’t perfect and I’ve already lost 6 lbs in three weeks. I wonder how many calories I was eating before the diet hmmm. I was aiming for a 20 lb (that’ll put my bmi into the ‘healthy’ zone - and that’s where I usually fall when I run consistently) weight loss in total but since this my first time REALLY watching what I eat for longer than 5 minutes, I’m curious to see what weight I fall into in the long run. I run about 2 miles at a moderate speed (about 25 mins total) twice a week and the 3rd day I do the stair-climber for 30 mins. This is all in conjunction with about one hour of strength training 3x a week. It really is true that you lose weight much faster with strength training than just cardio alone. I’ve gotten so much stronger already. Each week I increase my speed on the dreadmill and the weights that I work with because if I didn’t I’d just be working out in vain.

Time to get dressed…I’m running late as it is