I’m officially job hunting again. I’ll be keeping my eye out for positions within my current company as well…some how, some way, I’m getting the heck out of this position and off of this project. True, I’ve only been here four months but there’s no sense in wasting my time! I am working on a plan and setting some goals (that’s the only way I’ll get anything done LOL).
About a month ago, just a few days after I wrote this post, my mom ran into my biological father. Long story short, the courts found him and were to begin collecting back child support. He petitioned the court to drop it on the grounds of me being over 18. So, they both went to court. Mom told me that they spoke and she now has his work number (which just happens to be a 10 min drive from my apt…ironically I said something to the effect of "he probably lives or works right around the corner but I don’t even remember what he looks like" not long ago) and that he wanted to meet with me to explain why he "wasn’t there." She also told me that I have five half-siblings! I asked my mom to drop the child-support case b/c I’m sure that some of his other kids are under 18 so he needs that money more than she or I…hell, I’m grown now. Here it is one month later and I still haven’t used that number. Sometimes when I don’t know what to do or say I just do and say nothing. The whole thing makes me sad and for some reason I feel like I could’ve lived the rest of my life not knowing any of that information. My mom didn’t bring it up again and neither did I. I talked to Mr. Dad about it and he opined that I should call…pretty much everyone I’ve talked to has said the same. By the time I gather up the nerve he probably will not be at that job anymore and the number will be useless.
You’re a really good person. Don’t call imho.
Comment by Martin Morgan — June 12, 2007 @ 11:38 am
I have no idea what I’d do. I’d probably want to see what he looks like but I’d hesitate because I’d suspect he wanted to make himself feel better with his explanation. I’d be more inclined to see him to tell him about why fathers should always be involved and that there are no excuses, other than death and maybe imprisonment, for him not to have been around.
The truth is, a part of me is still bitter about it. It’s like he only came out of the shadows to get out from under child support and figures he’s “safe” now that I’m grown. Not sure if I mentioned this before, but he’s always known how to get in touch with me while I could never say the same for him. And of course there is absolutely no explanation that would stick so I almost feel like it’d be useless. I’m also disturbed by the fact that he’s STILL made no forward action to contact me himself, instead of passively offering up a job number through my mother. I keep telling myself to get over it. Maybe one day I will, just not today.
Comment by c2a — June 12, 2007 @ 3:25 pm
Hmmm this is really a hard one. I understand your comment to c2a but maybe if you made the effort you could check off a box and know that a few years down the line you won’t regret not reaching out. Maybe write him a letter and drop it off at his place of employment. Writing letters always helps me put things into perspective.
Comment by Honest — June 13, 2007 @ 10:18 am
Wow! Do what you feel is best, you know? I’m sure it’s tough. What do you think about getting
to know your siblings? I’ll be honest, that would be exciting to me. I wish I had more than
just a brother and sister, but what can you do? That’s really good of you to tell your mom
to drop the child support case too. Really good of you. I’m not so sure what I would have
told my mom, but that’s really big of you. My two year old niece’s father isn’t involved at
all, other than paying child support. A real deadbeat.
Comment by Sugar — June 13, 2007 @ 1:19 pm
Been there - done that. Glad I did it though. Happier to at least know my sister. He is alright. ..
Comment by tjeanise — June 13, 2007 @ 9:17 pm
HOW COME I COULD NEVER GET TO YOUR PAGE….LOL. I’M SO MAD, BUT GLAD I GOT HERE…LOL HEY.
Comment by justmewriting — June 15, 2007 @ 2:09 pm
I personally would not call his ass. He’d have to call me and I can’t think of one good explanation short of death or jail as to why he hasn’;t called. Hell, even convicts at least make collect phone calls. But hey, maybe I say that b/c I’m thinking of Tyler’s dad. Anywho, I would not have let him off the hook for one red cent… But again, that’s just mean ass me.. I’d see it as more shoes and purses…LOL!
Comment by Serenity23 — June 15, 2007 @ 6:07 pm
Good luck on the job front. As for your dad, do what will make you happy
Comment by Paula D. — June 15, 2007 @ 9:06 pm