k.unwrapped

She’s kind of lonely for some male attention. So, despite the fact that she knows there’s absolutely NO potential with the guy she’s seeing, she keeps him around simply to hear a male voice on the other end of the phone at night, to have masculine energy in her presence, to be able to say she has a ‘date.’ She knows he’s looking for more than she’s willing to give HIM so she strings him along a bit. Not being too available, but giving him just enough to keep him hanging on. She’s pitiful…she doesn’t understand that it’s perfectly okay to be TOTALLY alone…as in not dating ANYONE at ALL unless and until she knows there is potential with a particular guy.

I don’t want to be THAT girl. I was THIS close to being that girl…well I’ve been that girl before but for the most part I can honestly say it wasn’t a prolonged thing. I was gonna try and be "friends" with Don* after I’d made up my mind that I wasn’t going to settle for what he was offering when it came to dating. We’d never had sex so that meant we could be friends right?

Apparently he thought I wasn’t serious when I first told him that. When he realized I was serious he made a weak attempt to step his game up but by then it was too late. I don’t want anybody treat me in a way that doesn’t come natural to them. Don’t adjust your behavior for the sake of trying to appease me…you’ll just show your ass later so why bother? So Don* realized I was serious about the friends thing (I think) but he asked me to "at least hang out with me for my birthday after I have dinner w/ my family." I agreed and when his b-day came I called to wish him a happy b-day and to solidify where we’d go. He said he’d call me after dinner and never did. I called him around 9ish to see what’s up and he sent me to voicemail. Ok cool. Then he texts me the next day asking if I wanted to go to dinner…he made no mention of the previous night. I simply wrote "no" in response…I hate when people try to have convos via text message. And if you stand me up don’t act like nothing happened…I don’t care if you’re my mama that shit ain’t gonna fly. He keeps texting me like everything is cool and I ask if he’s gonna continue to pretend that he didn’t stand me up the day before. He writes, "dinner ran over and I got home late, I’m sorry." I replied, "that excuse ain’t gonna fly, it takes 5 minutes to call or text ‘I’m not gonna hang out with you tonite,’ a person has one time to pull that without a valid excuse and they can rest assured that I’ll NEVER make plans with them again." He writes back that it isn’t an ‘excuse’ but whatever. I replied, "there’s no point in wasting each other’s time. you go your way and I’ll go mine. Peace." And that was the end of Don.*

On Saturday as I prepared to run my typical errands, as I was getting dressed I noticed that this particular pair of jeans were more roomy than before. Damn this working out consistently is paying off, forreal. I always work out at least once or twice a week. Mostly jogging. But when I hit the 3-4x a week mark my body rewards me and does it well. Not that I didn’t have a nice body before hehe. I also have my forced diet a.k.a. braces to thank for that. I’ve had them for two weeks and still can’t bite into a sandwich or slice of pizza without wincing. Anyway, on Saturdays I usually throw on my workout clothes, run my errands, then hit the gym or vice versa. But since I’d worked out on Friday I decided to take a break and felt the urge to throw on some pumps and a cute outfit. I NEVER get jazzy to run errands but I felt pretty damn good on a 75 degree day. I hit NY & Co to buy my friend a gift card for her birthday. That’s her favorite store…and she’s in the process of losing weight so I didn’t dare try to pick anything out for her. Next I hit the car wash…one of the ones that you have to get out of the car while the attendants run your car through for you. So I get out of the car and walk around the building and see this guy.

Me: He sure looks like Idris Elba…seriously…DAMN.
Him: *Smile*
Me: *cheesy grin* (Sits down and waits for my car)
Him: "Can I dry your car for you?"
Me: "Sure…uh, you’re a little overdressed aren’t you?"
Him: "I’m just kidding, I don’t work here. So…what’s your name?"
Me: That was so corny. "K, and you?"
Him: "Mark. Are you married, engaged, have a boyfriend, or any kids???"

LMAO. So we exchange numbers and all that jazz…we talk and go shoot pool a couple days later (the night that Don* stood me up lol) which was fun dispite my shaky (read: shitty) skills. At 27, he’s not stable which is a MAJOR turn off for me. By stable I mean able to support himself. I immediately know that there’s no potential there. The only thing I like about him is how he looks. But I tell myself that I can just keep him around for some company…just to have a man around in some form or fashion. SMH @ my damned self for that one. Not gonna be THAT girl.