Friday, September 10, 2004
There’s a fine line between protecting yourself from bullshit and being a bag lady type of chick that thinks every man she meets is out to fuck her over. I met someone a few weeks ago, we talked via the phone and aim, then he came to visit (he lives in another city) one Saturday. We had a good time together that day but as soon as he left things were different. Or maybe they weren’t different. Before he even came to visit I noticed that every time he called me he was in route - either on his way home from work or on his way to the store. He never called me from his home and every time he reached his home he’d get off the phone with me. I had two cell phone numbers that he gave me and neither phone was likely to be turned on when I called. He also sent emails when it would make more sense to call. Nevertheless I still went out with him. After he returned to his city the calls stop coming and I sensed a lack of interest. Cool. Then out of nowhere he sends an "I was thinking of you" type of email. Huh? The week prior to him coming to visit he called and emailed me quite a bit then suddenly all that changed - the calls and emails pretty much stopped…then I got that email. This man is either married or has a wifey at home. It’s as simple as that so I just chalked that one up. The point of all this is did I see the signs because I was looking for them? When you look for shit you usually find what you’re looking for. That’s when I have to ask myself, should I trust my intuition or am I overreacting? Intuition wins hands down. I’ve learned to never second guess myself, my instincts lead me in the right direction most of the time so I’m gonna follow them. If I’m wrong then so be it - that’s life. I wasn’t expecting this man to be my soulmate, not even my boyfriend, but I was expecting him to be consistent. You can’t be feeling me all crazy this week, not feeling me next week, then feeling me again the week after that. The minute a man becomes inconsistent is the minute that I get turned off. Usually when a man is inconsistent its because he’s dating too many women, he’s married, or has a girlfriend. That’s cool if a man wants to do the whole pimp thing…I just can’t fuck witcha. My friend just broke up with his girlfriend after a year of drama. I know him well and he has a good heart with good intentions. When he met the girl she was carrying a lot of baggage from her previous relationship. He figured that if he just showed her that he was a good guy then she’d let her guard down and everything would work out. Wrong. After a year she still didn’t trust him and she had a very nasty attitude towards him to the point where he couldn’t even talk to her. He was really into this girl and he was there for her when she needed him, he was always trying to work on the relationship, and he was consistent. After somebody has proved themself like that you should let your guard down. I think consistency is the thin line between protecting yourself and being bitter. A person who’s protecting themself will let their guard down once a certain level of consistency is reached and a bitter person won’t let their guard down no matter what.
** This is a repost from my old Blogspot
