k.unwrapped

It’s been all over the local news that there’s a man robbing and "sexually assaulting" (that could mean anything from fondling to rape) women (about 5 so far) at gunpoint downtown…where I happen to work. There are lots of yuppies at my job who live nearby. They moved here because they "thought it was safe" and are "so shocked that this could happen here." Last I heard, there’ve been 350 murders in the city this year so far…I guess they don’t keep up with local news. New condos does not make a neighborhood safe…at least not in the short term.

Anyway, I was disturbed by this today:

Lansdowne man guilty in slaying of 15-year-old girl: A Delaware County jury yesterday found a Lansdowne man guilty of first-degree murder in the December 2004 killing of a 15-year-old schoolgirl.

Anwaar Malik Gettys, 24, shook his head slightly from side to side as the verdict was read. He was also found guilty of abuse of corpse.

D.eanna W.right-M.cIntosh’s burned remains were found inside a 55-gallon steel drum in Philadelphia’s Cobbs Creek section along with her bookbag, clothing, and knives used to dismember her. Also charged in the killing was L.amar H.aymes, 30, of Yeadon, who will stand trial for rape and murder early next year.

I read that this Anwaar character, along with his brother, were acquitted of gang raping a 16 yr old girl in 2000, at the very same house where they killed the 15 yr old. Apparently, the 16 yr old went on a "date" with Anwaar (who was 18 at the time) and took her back to his house. At the house he and his brother, along with two other men took turns raping this girl. She couldn’t identify the other two men so only the brothers stood trial. Actually, the brothers weren’t acquitted but there was a hung jury (due to the sole male member of the jury being unwilling to cooperate) and the DA didn’t want to retry the case due to the girl’s poor mental health as a result of the attack.

This both sickens and saddens me because as women we have to be EXTRA careful but it shouldn’t even be that way. While the media consistently touts the higher murder rate, nobody talks about the increase in crimes against women – increases that far exceed those for ‘general’ violence. I feel as though our society in general hates women and it’s manifested in many ways — from the targeted girls shot at that Amish school and Colorado, to rap music, movies, tv shows, to how women deal with each other.

I spoke to "Myspace Guy" (MG) from Wawa last night and he said the first thing he noticed about me is that I’m overly cautious. He approached me as I was getting into my car (I always lock the doors right away — especially at night) and I cracked my window to speak to him. Why is that considered overly cautious? Had he been a rapist that managed to get into my car, then it would be MY fault for not being "careful" though, right? His overly cautious is my normal. It must be nice to be a man so that you don’t have to live your life being "overly cautious." Sure he’s handsome, somewhat charming, and well-dressed…but so are all those other serial killers.

The first thing I thought when hearing about the rape-murder case was, she shouldn’t have went to a man’s home alone.

I remember when I was about 15 and two of my friends wanted to walk two blocks from our street to meet some guys at the store. My friends were "dating"** two of of them and they had a friend who would’ve been the 3rd wheel if I didn’t go, so I agreed. I also heard he was cute! 

So we met the guys and almost immediately after exchanging names, the one I was being hooked up with put his arm around me, which made me uncomfortable so I backed away. One of the guys then proceeds to invite us to their house because their parents were out. Me? Go to some random guy’s house even if his parents WERE supposedly at home? Not happening! My friends really wanted to go so I started walking my ass back home alone. Nothing bad happened as far as I know, but some kids sneaking around because mama isn’t home can turn UGLY in no time.

But at what point does it become clear that a man is a potential rapist-murderer? And let’s say that this Anwaar character wasn’t random–she could’ve known him very well–so what are the signs that a 15 yr old (or hell, a 24 yr old) would recognize? In my opinion there are few, if any. I remember when the story first broke in 2004 and my mom telling me that she prays for me. What makes us think that the girl’s mother didn’t pray for her child too?

** "dating" = when a young lady thinks that a man actually takes her seriously when in actuality she’s just a f&ck and/or somebody to pass the time with; not to be confused with dating.