I must admit that I need tangibles. I need to see evidence that I’m making progress as I pursue a goal. Success doesn’t have to mean I have completed the goal, but if headway is being made within a reasonable time frame, that’s enough for me. The biggest threat to feeling successful is comparing oneself to others. Thinking that so-and-so has accomplished such-and-such by age x so I’m not successful because I haven’t accomplished as much will sufficate any accomplishments you achieve…I have to remind myself to kick those thoughts. Keep in mind that you must define success for yourself and don’t beat yourself up if you fall short. Step out on Faith…
November 13, 2006
Are You Successful? | # |
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I totally feel you..don’t measure your success based on others accomplishments..they don’t have the same experiences as you do…I found myself doing this alot in regards to medical school..I know so many people who have graduated from med school, or are almost done..and I thought that could/should be me….but the work/life experience Ive received is invaluable….
Comment by V — November 13, 2006 @ 3:48 am
I set goals and timelines for myself when I was younger and was on track to meeting them. And then I had a child. My goals totally changed. My idea of success did as well. Success for me isnt’ measured by advanced degrees and high positions, but more of what I’m doing in my personal life. And I am pretty happy with things as they are.
You bring up a very good point. I don’t ever want to become that person who, when asked to describe themself, starts rattling off a list of professional/material achievements.
Comment by Serenity23 — November 13, 2006 @ 10:51 am
wow that was really short, but i really liked it. i tend to do that a lot and talk about how other people did a b and c in their lives and i kinda feel like im still stuck on A lol…but i like this point of view
Comment by Peach — November 13, 2006 @ 1:50 pm
Good point. I thin we can be so busy comparing ourselves to others that we sometimes don’t realize just how far we have come from where we starte and how much we have accomplished. There will always be someone who did it “faster” or “better” than ourselves and there will always be someone who did it “slower” or “worse”. I guess at the end of the day the only person that we can measure is us.
Comment by SmartBlkWoman — November 13, 2006 @ 3:41 pm
I would like to second Serenity’s post, well said! I think the question is highly subjective. It’s all releative to ones own definition. But I must say, I’ve known quite a few women who now that they’ve reached their late 40’s and 50’s and chose the career path v. family and they have come to regret it. One friend of mine told me that it took her years to be honest with herself about the fact that while she has multiple homes and had a very financially rewarding career with a public utillity, she regrets never getting married and having children. She’s thinking about adopting now that she is married and I give her kudos for that. But again, success is so subjective and an individual thing.
Are you saying that the option to marry & have a family was presented to these women and they rejected it solely for the sake of their career? To be honest, I find that hard to believe.
Comment by MistaO — November 15, 2006 @ 10:23 am