k.unwrapped

We’re giving YOU the opportunity to make US more money!

One of my credit card companies sent me an email with the subject "K, we have a special gift JUST for you during the holidays." I was thinking, free shit–yes!! I opened the email while smiling inside only to find that their "gift" to me is a 3% rebate offer for shopping at some random website? It could’ve at least been a website that sells things that people actually buy. I certainly don’t need another egg beater or Swiss army knife.

Dating sucks…and so does being single

Why did I get stood up on Sunday? I didn’t even know people still did that! He actually pulled a no-call-no-show (I called him about 2 hrs before we were supposed to go to dinner and he didn’t pick up) then sent me a text message the next day that said, "hey miss" like nothing happened. I asked why he disappeared on Sunday and he said that he left his phone at work. I didn’t respond and had no intentions of ever speaking to him again. I barely knew this this guy a week and only talked to him a few times so in my mind it’s perfectly acceptable for me to walk away without an explanation (in this case his ass knew why I was stepping off) and vice versa. But he has a foreign accent…men with accents don’t go away just because you ignore them. He rang my phone back-to-back AND left a voicemail. So I called him back, told him that I’m not into games, to lose my number, and hung up.

It only takes 5 minutes to call and say "hey I’m not gonna be able to make it." Unless you’re laid up with your "main chick" all day long hmmmm! The most annoying part of it was his lame excuse and his attempt to sweet talk me with some "baby lemme make it up to you" mess. ‘Scuse me, when did I become your "baby?" SMH. I have the worst luck with foreigners I swear…except Haitian guys, I love them hehe.

I checked my work email and found a reminder for the Holiday party that we’re having in a couple of weeks. I almost wanted to RSVP "no" because…I don’t have a date. What’s worse, being bothered by the fact that you don’t have a date or that your datelessness even bothers you to begin with? I’m giving myself 30 minutes to get over it!

Club Wawa

I dunno if they have Wawa in every state but it’s sort of like 7-11 but better. For some reason the one near my house is always packed with eye candy. Some guy approached me earlier and we exchanged numbers…then he asked me if I had a Myspace page and if I could text my info to him. I thought that was just a tad bit odd LOL. I met another guy there last week…he was built like he played basketball in college or something. I was kind of giddy over that one but when I mentioned his name & stats to a friend she told me that she used to date him. Aaaarrrrrggggghhhhhh I CAN’T win!

Check this out:

It was clear to John Lee that the four guys who came into his East Germantown deli Saturday night would not be paying customers.

"They all had their hoodies pulled tight, and it wasn’t a cold night," said Lee, 48, owner of the Chelten Market at Chelten Avenue and Musgrave Street. "I said, ‘You need to take off your hoodies,’ then one of them came around the counter with his gun drawn, so I shot them."

Lee fired five rounds from his .38-caliber revolver, striking three of the bandits and rupturing a water line, police said. The gunman dropped his loaded 9mm pistol as he and his wounded partners fled the store. Lee found a fourth would-be robber - who had not been shot - hiding in the rear of the store.

"He had a BB gun on him, so I took it," Lee said. "Then I beat him up and took his boots and called police." [Why’d he have to take his boots though? LOL] More…

 

Armed robbery is risky business. You just might get your ass blasted by the store clerk. Further, you could face a minimum of 4-5 years for possession of an unregistered gun (should you choose not to go the BB gun route – ha!) if the clerk lets you live. I almost feel sorry for those guys. IF they recover in the hospital they have to go straight to jail (do not collect $200)…John Lee has the Juice now! 

Crime doesn’t pay kids

LOL but seriously, in any situation I’m asking WHY? There is a very small percentage of the population that is predisposed to deviance. Beyond that small number, we have to look at the environmental factors that contribute to the rise in violent crime in cities like Philly. People who are gainfully employed tend to not rob people. How do we get more people gainfully employed? What will it take to get people who aren’t "good at school," or are otherwise uninterested to understand that it’s extremely difficult to succeed in our economy without education? And education is the bare minimum!

I have a 15 yr old sister & and (soon to be) 13 yr old brother. My brother says that school is boring but he still brings home the A’s. My sister, on the other hand, brought home a D and an F last week. This is nothing new with her but now that she’s in the 10th grade this mess must stop. I’ve been trying for a few years to make her understand that the choices she makes now can/will affect her for the REST OF HER LIFE. My mom and my siblings’ father are finally laying the smack down with strict punishment this time so I hope that it’ll make a difference. My sister says that she wants to be a nurse but I told her that she will only get into Community College with those grades. There’s nothing wrong with CC but I want her to have the opportunity to go away to school if she so chooses. I always tell her that she is going to be just like cousin M (21, jobless, skilless, 2 kids, living with mom) if she doesn’t make the right choices. She told me that she’s influenced by her friends to do the wrong thing but that is bullshit. If you can articulate that your friends are bad news then you can comprehend that you are making the wrong choices. Furthermore, how do I know that she’s not the one influencing those other kids to cut class and skip homework assignments?

She also tried the "I don’t understand my school work" excuse. I was over at my mom’s house 3 times a week this year, and sometimes on WEEKENDS helping her with geometry and she got a B in that class. I ALWAYS asked her about her other classes and she assured me that all was well each and every time. When I was her age I was too terrified to bring home a D on my report card.

My mom asked one of her teachers why he never called when she cut class (she skipped his class 13 times) and he said, "well, I don’t mind if the kids skip my class." My mom is in the process of trying to get my sis into another school asap. At any rate, just because you have a teacher that doesn’t give a damn doesn’t mean you should choose to do the wrong thing. He didn’t mind her skipping class, but he didn’t mind giving her ass an F, either. I showed my sis the correlation between the number of times she skipped class and the low grades that she received…I think she gets it…I certainly HOPE so.

This past holiday & weekend was so refreshing…and interesting. On Thanksgiving my mom, sister, brother, and I went over to my aunt’s for dinner. My family isn’t particularly close so it was great seeing those who that I hadn’t seen in a while. I love my coo coo family LOL.

I was talking with my aunt and she mentioned that my uncle just had his 8th child, this time with "Gina." Gina…Gina…hmmm. All night long, my aunt kept talking about karma in a way that I knew she had some juicy gossip, but wasn’t telling. And my mom kept saying that my uncle needs Jesus. I HATE when people have that knowing tone yet keep me out of the loop! I said, "Gina sounds VERY familiar." Both my mom and aunt then look at me like I’m an idiot and said "You KNOW who Gina is." That’s when it clicked. Gina is my uncle’s best friend Tony’s baby’s mom. She’s been close to our family for years (Tony has 3 kids with her). I was hoping that it was another Gina…that’s a common name, sheesh. Tony and my uncle were so close. When I was a kid, I thought that Tony was my mom’s brother too!

I remember saying that their 20+ year friendship must be over and my aunt replying that you can’t help who you fall in love with. Yes you can (but that’s another blog entry)! I’m not so sure that love had anything to do with it. Apparently Tony slept with one of my uncle’s baby’s mamas (the same chick who shot my uncle in the foot a while ago) back in the day so this is just karma according to my aunt. If karma is that strong then my uncle has it coming to him something SERIOUS. He has a total of 6 kids from three women who were best friends before he came into the picture. His 7th child was born to some random side chick immediately after his wife (at the time) had a miscarriage (side chick made it her BUSINESS to make sure his wife found out)…behold baby #8. My aunt tells me that this is just how people behave but I refuse to believe that normal people get down this way. They are all a bunch of shady mofos…women sleeping with & getting knocked up by the same man, best friends sleeping with each other’s baby mamas. I know my uncle’s game ain’t THAT tight to the point that he can convince "sweet & innocent" women to sleep with the other’s man (or ex man). They are a wild bunch and they deserve one another.

This all has me thinking carefully about who I associate with & consider friends.

My friends Mimi, Trace, and I went to this club last night that’s a popular Tuesday night spot. If you go to this same club on a Friday it’s plain wack…it’s empty and the DJ sucks.

We made it through the night without (much) incident, but going to the club CAN be annoying.

Before we even get both feet out of the car, some drunk guy tells us that we shouldn’t go in there because all the guys will be locked up by next week. Then he tells us that he’s 52 (he was clearly no older than 40 and even that’s a stretch) and happily married…then he proceeds to recite his home & work addresses in case I ever want to "stop by." Okay…lol.

Mimi meets this guy and he tells her that he doesn’t go out much but tonight he’s celebrating. What is he celebrating? The birth of his child of course! People find ANY reason to go to the club. If you want to go out just go! Please don’t use your poor infant as an excuse b/c your ass should be at home changing some diapers or something anyway. Mimi ran away from him with the QUICKNESS LOL.

I could never get into the Club Uniform thing. I’m not saying that a woman should wear jeans and sneakers to the club, but aren’t thigh boots and mini-dresses with the back cut out a tad bit much? And then there are the girls wearing midriff tops with low-rise jeans showing the crack of their ass. Most of them are thin so they can get away with that, but it doesn’t mean that they should leave their belts at home. I KNOW they feel the cold air hitting their asscracks yet they don’t bother to pull their pants up. Perhaps I’m just more of a Plain Jane and out of the loop completely…or maybe I see things more clearly when I’m the designated driver LOL.

In theory, the club is the worst place to meet men, but in practice I’ve had worse luck in the grocery store & at the gym. I met a couple of guys last night who were not stupid-drunk, could hold conversations that didn’t involve "nahmean," childless, degreed, etc. All of the loser aspiring-rapper types seem to frequent the produce section of the grocery store in my ‘hood LOL. 

Anyway, I feel like poo b/c I only got 4 hours of sleep. I think the office will be closing early today so maybe I can go home and catch a nap!

I have been completely on my own for almost a year now. When I was in college I always worked and supported myself, however, I always knew that if things got REALLY bad, I could call my stepdad and he’d help me out. Now that he and my mother are officially separated, and he now has his own apartment & extra bills, that’s not an option. Back in school my expenses were extremely low so getting an extra $100 from my stepdad was like a million bucks lol. My expenses now include rent, car note, insurance, etc, so that just wouldn’t work for me now. Not to mention that I’m grown! Over the past year, my attitude towards money has changed drastically. I was never a spendthrift; however, I now truly know the difference between needs and wants.

Needs = things for survival, followed by things for comfort

Wants = things that I don’t even think about until I see an ad for them 

On a message board that I frequent, there’s a debate going on about the Play station 3 (retail $500). As I watched the news last week, I was amazed by the people caught on camera falling all over each other to get into the store to drop $500 on the game system. You would have thought they were lined up to get some free shit, not to PAY somebody 500 bucks. If you go to Ebay.com, you’ll find PLENTY of PS3’s going for $1000+. If it’s true that 70% of Americans live paycheck-to-paycheck, and that the average family carries $8k in credit card debt, doesn’t it follow that MANY of these people can’t afford the PS3? My beef is about more than just a $500 game system that’ll be obsolete in a year or two; it’s about how easily we are brainwashed into believing that overpriced shit is "worth it." It’s relatively easy to convince people that they "need" things that they wouldn’t have even THOUGHT about if they hadn’t seen an ad for it. People SWEAR that they can "afford" $2k designer bags, $500 games, and $30k cars on $40k salaries and it’s sad. These are the same people crying "broke" and whining that they "don’t make enough money."

So, on the message board there were people saying that the game is worth the price because it has some new DVD technology. This means that we have yet another home movie format coming out. So, we have to buy the new high-tech DVD player…then we have to buy the new formatted DVDs so that we can actually use the player which = more money spent just to watch movies! My old DVD player works just fine and I will not replace it until they stop making regular DVDs (notice how VCR tapes are nowhere to be found!).

It seems that many people generally don’t have a REAL grasp on affordability. I caught a little bit of that Vh1 show, “the Fabulous Life of the Rich and Famous” and the focus was on celebrity dream homes. They profiled these houses with the price, and then they broke it down by monthly mortgage. Mortgage! Why in the world would someone raking in 20+ million per year have a mortgage? Perhaps they are buying houses that they can’t afford? Maybe they’re using the mortgage to keep a high credit score? When I read that Whitney Houston was in danger of losing her home, and that she was millions behind on the mortgage I nearly choked. She was raking in some serious millions not too long ago…why isn’t her house paid off?

I went to Walgreen’s yesterday to get some razors. They had the fancy pink ones for $12.99 (only 3 in the pack smh) and the Walgreen’s brand for $1.99 (10 in pack). Do the cutesy ones actually provide a better shave? All I want is hair-free armpits and the Walgreen’s brand never lets me down. Are the pretty colors & shapes of the razors used to lure us into buying something more expensive that essentially performs the same function? Anyone who uses the fancy ones let me know!

I’ve made up my mind that I’m going to accumulate REAL wealth in this life; however, that will never happen if I:

- convince myself that I "need" a new car every 3-5 years
- spend excess money on trends
- charge more than I can afford to pay off in 30 days on my credit cards
- put off saving for retirement, emergencies, and home ownership, etc.

Don’t say ‘I love you’ first. I had a friend once who told a guy that she loved him and his response was ‘thanks.’ You don’t want to be on the receiving end of that so let the man say it first.

I started writing this entry a few months back, then abandoned it for some reason. That said, I have NO idea where the above quote came from.

Anyway, that kind of advice does nothing to help women. Hearing "thanks" in response to "I love you" is hardly the end of the world. As adults, we need to understand that sometimes we have feelings for people that aren’t mutual and vice versa (I would’ve been a bit salty though, lol). Furthermore, that kind of advice is telling women that we shouldn’t take risks and should avoid rejection at all costs. But we have common sense and we should use it. We also must trust our judgement in dating situations.

If you tell someone that you love them, it should be because you actually feel that way, not because you expect them to feel the same way or to hear it in return. You definitely shouldn’t settle for a one-sided relationship, but if it’s somewhat early into your relationship, give the person time to reach your emotional level. That’s where common sense comes in. Love is an action word so you will know if the man is falling for you (or if he isn’t interested) based on how he treats you.

I wouldn’t suggest being an aggressive woman but a friend told me he digs that so to each his own. Holding back for fear of rejection isn’t helpful either.

Myth 1: Men don’t know how to behave in a relationship. It is up to a woman to be patient and "teach" him how to treat her.

On an episode of "Roseanne," Roseanne tries to convince Jackie to marry a man who demands that she quit her job as a cop as a condition of marriage. But Jackie wants a husband like Dan, who is considerate and understanding. Roseanne tells Jackie that it took years of hard work…Dan didn’t come out of the package pre-assembled.

It only works that way in TV Land folks. I know that we’ve all heard that you subconsciously teach someone how to treat you by what you accept (and don’t) from your mate. And I agree %150. However, there isn’t a man walking this earth who doesn’t know that if he’s in a committed relationship,

- He should stop ‘messing around’ with his ex
- He should call if he’s going to cancel a date
- Spending time with him and his friends does not = quality time for the two of you
- Collecting phone numbers & going on dates with other women is off-limits

Some women might say, "but this is his first serious relationship and he’s learning." If that’s true then OJ didn’t do it and his new book truly is ‘fiction.’ [end sarcasm]

He may try to play dumb, but trust and believe, he’s just trying to see what you’ll allow him to get away with.

Myth 2: Things may be a little rocky in the beginning, but things will change.

Not gonna happen. If you’re in the early stages of dating and he’s always "busy," gives you excuses as to why he can’t return your calls, two years from now things will be the same. If you’re unfortunate enough to make it past dating, and into relationship territory, you will always feel like an afterthought with him. At that point do not complain or try to change him. Either accept it or find someone else who’s less "busy."

Myth 3: A man can completely fool you/you’re a victim.

How often are women completely blindsided by men? In the times that things didn’t work out due to some shadiness on his part, can we honestly say that we didn’t see the signs but chose to ignore them? Or that we gave the benefit of doubt?

That doesn’t mean that a man is excused for being an asshole, nor should we stop giving the benefit of doubt. However, common sense and discretion should be our guide. 

Myth 4: A man should accept you for who you are.

Not necessarily. Are you the best you that you can be? Are you difficult? How are your character, mind, appearance, and treatment of people in your life? You should be accepted for who you are, but not if you’re crazy…unless you’re Jackie Christie — crazy seems to work for her.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

When did bloggers start taking themselves so seriously? Where is the rule written that says: if a blog entry is complete bullshit, readers must co-sign regardless? Someone please clue me in.

Somebody could write a blog post about molesting kids in the rain and most of the comments in response would read:

“Oooooh girl co-sign! I feel you on that!”

“That was such a great post! Tell it like it is!”

“That’s why you’re my favorite blogger…you bring the heat!”

GTFOH!

Jackass A decides to throw a bitch-fit because I asked a question that addressed something she wrote in a blog entry. My comment was far from rude or off-topic. Instead of answering it, she decides to put on her Cyber-Courage Backpack and write some bullshit angry response. That post clearly shows that she is one of those black women who confuses bitchiness with strength or being confrontational with courage.

I asked the question because she previously wrote a post about how she doesn’t have many female friends because [insert stereotypical shit that many women that have few female friends say]. I’ve found that women who feel that way tend to be bitches and they exhibit ALL of the negative qualities that they claim other women have therefore, other women don’t want to be bothered with them. It would’ve been rude to say that in someone’s blog wouldn’t it? So I wrote something to the effect of “I hate to hear women say that about other women.” This chick deletes the whole entry and replaces it with some bullshit “if you don’t agree with me don’t come to my blog” entry. Get over yourself please.

I asked the question b/c I wanted to know why she overreacts to comments that aren’t inflammatory OR off-topic. She can write all the nasty posts under the sun about me (in an effort to “scare” me away from her comment section), but if she posts some bullshit tomorrow, I’ll STILL comment on it. I’m sure she’ll delete it but I DGAF.

Jackass B can write but he obviously can’t read. Someone PLEASE tell me what this comment:

“Two words. Stay single. Its like Katt Williams said. “Its not that all men ain’t sh*t. Its that all the men you attract ain’t sh*t. Maybe you need to step back, be single, and reassess your sh*t. Figure out what it is about you that keeps attracting ain’t sh*t niggas.”

has to do with a dream about a car and Naomi Campbell? While I’m sure that Kat Williams is a funny man and that some women do indeed attract bullshit b/c they ARE bullshit, it completely missed me (and everyone else) how that relates to a post that had absolutely nothing to do with dating.

Interestingly enough, the other day he got mad b/c I commented on one of his bullshit blog entries. I was sure that the entry was a joke (hence the "lol" in my comment) so I was shocked to see him respond angrily to one of my (and another woman’s) comments. Dude was REALLY serious and must’ve thought that he put forth some groundbreaking shit. I’m happy that you mofos are so self-important that you think all of your blog posts are classic and thought-provoking. Too bad you’re the only one.

If I make a rude and/or off-topic comment, it wouldn’t bother me one bit if someone called me on it. By all means do what you gotta do. But if people want to get downright ANGRY solely b/c I didn’t ride their nutsacks in the comments section…they can kiss my entire ass.

I must admit that I need tangibles. I need to see evidence that I’m making progress as I pursue a goal. Success doesn’t have to mean I have completed the goal, but if headway is being made within a reasonable time frame, that’s enough for me. The biggest threat to feeling successful is comparing oneself to others. Thinking that so-and-so has accomplished such-and-such by age x so I’m not successful because I haven’t accomplished as much will sufficate any accomplishments you achieve…I have to remind myself to kick those thoughts. Keep in mind that you must define success for yourself and don’t beat yourself up if you fall short. Step out on Faith…

- No matter how cold and rainy it gets in November, there will always be a random white guy walking around in flip flops.

- People who were born in this city that have never left for any reasonable amount of time tend to be very closed minded. This includes those who went to colleges an hour away…that almost doesn’t count because more than likely they came home every weekend.

- It amazes me how Ballsy women like Karrine Steffans and Carmen Bryan are. If I was putting every dude in the industry on blast (truth or not), I’d seriously fear for my safety. And I’d be worried about what my mama thinks…that’s scary too!

- Anchal got booted from America’s Next Top Model because she lacked confidence. At least that’s what the producers are selling (I believe that they know which 2 or 3 they really like, but they edit each episode to make it seem like a real competition). It really does ring true that if you don’t believe in yourself, you can’t convince anyone else to.

- The Bally’s that I frequent happens to be the "official" gym of the Philly Eagle’s cheerleaders. They usually practice in a studio right next to the stretching area (skimpy outfits to boot). I’ve never seen so many grown ass men "stretching" at once. 

- The democrats really (unsurprisingly) racked up the votes this time around. It must really suck to get elected simply because your opponent is just THAT bad. Our democratic governor was reelected in a landslide…I can’t help but wonder if the republicans knew they didn’t have a chance in hell of winning so they selected a former NFL player as a fill-in candidate just to have someone on the ballot. He was THAT bad.

- I bet $5 that gas prices will start going way up again. 

- How is it that some parents have a tremenously positive influence on their children yet others seem to have the exact opposite, despite being very successful? I was reading Goapele’s bio and found that her parents were activists and she is too. I think that’s amazing.

Dear Recruiter,

I’m writing you to express some concerns. As a person who has been out of college all of three months, with minimal work experience as it relates to my degree, I constantly scour employment resources. I typically look for entry-level positions, some of which relate to my degree while others do not. Beggars can’t be choosy.

I stumbled upon an ad for a great position within your company that seemed to be perfect for me. I distinctly remember reading: this is an entry-level position and this position is ideal for a college graduate looking for their first start. I applied for the position and after two months or so, you called me. By this time I’d applied for so many positions that I don’t even remember submitting my resume to your company, but if you say I did then I must have.

During our first phone interview, you ask me if I’ve had experience with _____, _____, _____, _____, (things that a person would only learn on the job), and I reply with an honest answer: NO. You decide to bring me in for an interview anyway because you think that I have potential.

Several weeks after the interview you finally get back to me. You inform me that you went with a candidate who has 7 years experience relevant to the job. You tell me that you would prefer to do as little training as possible.

That, my friend, is false advertisement. If that was your intention then why advertise the position as entry-level? Why waste my time and yours?

As a token of my appreciation, I’d like to send out a heartfelt Fuck You to you and your company.

Sincerely,
K