I was cruising Philly.com like I do every morning and came across this headline: Single dad of 5 kids shot dead in W. Philly. I was curious as to what the spin would be on this article. It’s not PC to discuss the race of the victim (and suspects) so it’s always amusing to me to see how they tell you the person’s race using other identifiers, and how they’re passively critical of the article’s main person of interest.
"He was a real, legitimate father. He was a rarity." (victim’s friend/colleague)
"He was the type of person who took care of his family…” (victim’s brother)
"He cooked meals for them and washed their clothes…" and "He always took good care of them. You don’t find nobody like that." (mother of 4 of victim’s children)
Who knew that being a “legitimate father” was a rarity? Even if I believed it, I wouldn’t let any man in my life hear me say it. I expect ANY man, regardless of race and age, to be a legitimate father. End of story. There’s no reason to let him think for a minute that anything less would be acceptable. What does this article say about expectations of Black men? Also, how can you NOT expect anything from someone, then pretend to be surprised when you get nothing from said person? Some women plan to be single mothers before they even get pregnant! That’s understandable if you went to a sperm bank…but if you’re in an adult relationship why set the bar one inch above the ground?
I always feel sad when I read about murder victims in the news but within weeks, I find that the victim was an entrepreneur…CEO of the Crack & Heroin Discount Outlet, or a woman romantically involved with one of those types. At that point, it’s hard for me to be sympathetic unless the victim is a child.
Forcing opinions on others can be very rude therefore I try to stay away from it. However, I feel that people are always forcing their mediocrity on me. I’m currently looking for a new job and all I’m getting from people is, “why? Your job pays xx and it’s a good job so why are you leaving?” These were the same people saying “you don’t need to go to college” when I was 18. STFU please! If I have a goal for something better, how in the world could you,a so-called loved, one try to discourage me from that? Just thinking about those conversations makes me want to punch a wall.
Oh you are so right! You know what? Many Black folk have internalized larger societies expectations (or lack there of) and made them reality. What you say about setting the bar so low is very accurate. I mean lookit, how many young Black kids do you see STILL thinking it’s cool to act a fool in school smart mouthing and what not, and then wondering why they can’t get a job or start a business years later? I went through what we in Cleveland call the “War Years” from 86-96 and experienced way too many fellow soliders sitting below ground now because of our stupidity. How can we go through all this non-sense and still not learn from it? I’m just glad I did and got my crap together. Anyways, you have to shake those loosers whether they are family or not, and keep pressing forward. Many people will discourage you from asperations because they could never see themselves doing any better. Sad but true.
Comment by MistaO — November 1, 2006 @ 3:08 pm
*smh* When you accept mediocrity, that’s all you’ll get.
At any rate, this is a really sad story. He was a single dad for a reason. I wonder where the kids will end up now.
Comment by Single Ma — November 4, 2006 @ 1:33 pm
“STFU please!”
You have such a kickass attitude.
Don’t ever compromise on anything. Great thing are coming your way.
Comment by Martin Morgan — November 8, 2006 @ 5:21 pm