I attended my first bridal shower on Saturday. The bride-to-be didn’t want skrippas; however, a good time was had. My old roommate from college is the maid-of-honor and she asked me to help out with the planning. That chick is so creative…she will surely be planning my wedding (unbeknownst to her hehe) if when I get married. On Friday I went to dinner with an old friend (Don) from high school. Talking with him reminded me that Black men MUST go to college, trade school, or the military if they ever hope to be able to support themselves and/or a family. If not, they’d have to be genius, lucky, or know people who can get their foot in the door to get ahead. Black women are able to squeak by (as long as they are reasonably articulate) without education/training more often than Black men (but don’t try this at home kids).
Since high school graduation Don has struggled to get and keep jobs. The ones he does get don’t pay much nor do they offer decent benefits so he can’t afford to have his own place and reliable car, at the very least. I’m not one to kick people when they’re down so I didn’t say "when you had that opportunity to go to Virginia State on partial scholarship you should have taken it instead of staying around the neighborhood and fathering two kids." Fortunately I didn’t have to say it because he did.
My thinking is that it’s almost never too late to turn your life around, go back to school, get more training, etc., if that’s what your heart desires. We find a way to obtain the things that we TRULY want. If six years have passed and you have nothing to show for it, it’s time to go back to the drawing board and rework the plan. My advice is to continue living with his brother, work full-time (he does have 2 mouths to feed!), and go back to school part-time to be a contractor (maintenance/construction) because that’s what he has some experience and an interest in. He said he’d think about it so we’ll see.
I feel you on that. I graduated from High School in 1992 and promptly startd attending the University of Cincinanti afterwards. But I wasn’t concentrating on books, i was concentrating on partying and the girlies. Bad decision. Now, I’m trying to correct. In college at 32 years of age, griding with the yougn’s trying to get my degree in Computer Science/Information Tech. It’s true: You are never too old to earn an education…..
Go Vipereq!
Comment by viperteq — September 5, 2006 @ 12:59 pm
You gave him good advice, hopefully he takes it.
Comment by SmartBlkWoman — September 5, 2006 @ 1:38 pm
Good advice to Don.
Unfortunately, too many black men don’t want to hear this. And sadly, my brothers fall into that category. I tell them repeatedly that they can’t live like white boys, our pops doesn’t have a business they could run when he retires. And that the only way to eke out a decent living is with an education.
Comment by Jules — September 8, 2006 @ 4:07 pm
K, you hit the nail on the head -again- and hopefully Don takes your advice. I stayed in college at The University of Akron and grinded it out until I received my degree in Marketing/Supply Chain Logistics. To be honest, the only reason I stayed was that so many administrators and advisors at the university were so very obvious in their attempts to discourage me from continuing into the College of Business. I even had a supposed “Black” guidance counselor who I ignorantly allowed to throw my classes off line to the tune of two whole semesters. Dude “advised” me to take a bunch of classes, which did not support my tract of study. After I woke up and smelled his haterism I took total control of my own course scheduling and eventually made it out. Now I said that to say that it all served as a catalyst for propelling me to finish just to thumb my nose at all those haters. Brothers out here have got to understand that many times even our own DO NOT want to see us rise! We simply must take our own destinies in our own hands and grind for self and family. You are so right; it’s never too late. What’s sad though is that I manage an entire department for a 500 company with over 250 employees and I’ve reached out to all of the Black men in the department in an effort to encourage them to “step up” and take on additional responsibilities so they may better position themselves for future promotions and ya know what? Not one, took my offers seriously. Now I wish when I was working “front line” that I had a Black male manager who was willing to mentor me like I saw countless White coworkers doing for younger management folks. But I never fretted or succumbed to the pity party I just kept learning and grinding out till I made a spot for myself. Period point blank. Too many cats out here today suffer from what I call “softness”. They were raised sans the benefit of a Father at home willing to put foot to ass if they didn’t get the work done. So now as grown adults many don’t have work ethics or the stick to it mentality that would allow for further development. I have some cats out here in their 40’s and 50’s still talking about how they are “players” and all that other played out crap. Sad but true. But on a lighter note, there are plenty of Brothers out here today quietly getting their business on and we must support them when we find them. Holler.
Comment by MistaO — September 13, 2006 @ 7:02 am
Glad u told it like it is K. I wish more people would do that.
Comment by Dayrell — September 16, 2006 @ 12:35 pm