k.unwrapped

Inspired by one of the Hostess’ recent posts

I was talking with this guy PR that I’ve been seeing recently. Keep in mind that we’re in the early stage of things. Last night he brought over Love Jones and the part where Nina tells Darius that she’s going to ‘kick it’ with her ex in NYC came up. He said that she shouldn’t have gone if she really cared about Darius. I don’t necessarily agree. She and Darius weren’t in an established relationship; therefore Nina can’t really be faulted for what she did because she wasn’t dishonest about it. Plus, just because two people have been boning for two weeks doesn’t mean that all feelings for ex-fiancés and such just disappear. I wish that the last guy I dated had the balls to tell me that he was thinking of rekindling things with his ex versus blindsiding me after the shit already hit the fan.

Things are tricky when there’s no established commitment. I personally don’t feel obligated to be ‘faithful’ to someone that I’m not in a relationship with. My ultimate goal is to find Mr. Right, not waste my time with Mr. Right Now b/c he ‘enjoys my company.’ PR asked me, hypothetically, what would happen several months from now if things are going well, we’re only seeing each other, but he isn’t ready to commit? I told him that I would say goodbye and let him find a woman who is cool with being his fuck-buddy. He asked if it made a difference if he only intended to date me? My answer didn’t change. I am 24 years old man. I don’t have time for those silly college games anymore. I fell for the ‘I’m not ready’ bullshit a couple of times but no more. If you’re not ‘ready’ then you shouldn’t date me. There is nothing to discuss. You can be assured that the moment I feel that you’re not someone I could be in a relationship with I will let you know. You won’t hear any phony commitment-phobe lines from me.

PR suggested that even though no commitment is in place, the man and woman shouldn’t see anybody else. If after several months of dating you still don’t want to commit then it’s because that person isn’t for you. If we’re dating, and I’m not the one for you, why shouldn’t I continue to meet/date other guys to find someone that I AM for and vice versa?

They say that people only do what you’ll allow but for a person to even ATTEMPT to get away with certain shit says a lot about their character.

PR goes on to say that he was just speaking hypothetically and that that situation wouldn’t really happen. I think he’s full of shit and was just testing the waters to see what he can get away with. What kind of man WANTS to get away with not having to commit? Probably the kind of man that I wouldn’t consider dating seriously.